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This is my second wedding(bride). I have two young boys. I would like to include something in the ceremony. that our family is joining the grooms(his first). The boys are standing up front with us. i would like to do something with them during the ceremony to join the families.
Talk to your boys and see what they would like to do. My three (2 girls (18 & 7) and 1 boy (12)) asked to be inolved so we are doing a version of the sand ceremony with an hourglass (http://heirloomhourglass.com/family_unity_sand_ceremony.html). We are also creating a small jar of layered sand before the ceremony for the children to keep with them. My oldest is my maid of honor, my son is walking down the aisle and is a groomsmen, and the baby is one of the flower girl. The children are inviting FH into our family instead of giving me away and the oldest help FH plan the weekend he proposed. That is what they wanted and I think they may be more excited about this than we are.
This will be the first (and only, haha!) marriage for both me and my fiancee. He however has a 7-year-old daughter (that I have been around for 3 years so far) that will be 9 when we get married. We have not decided what we will exactly do at our ceremony, but we do know we want his daughter included. Her mother is not very active in her life, and she had a very rough/neglectful home life when she used to live with her bio-mom. She calls me mom all the time and is so happy and excited that me and her dad are getting married. Her mother has 2 children with someone else and my FI's daughter was always the "outcast" in that family and treated differently than the other kids (something we have discovered from her abuse/neglect counselor that she talks about a lot in therapy), so we definitely wanted a small part of the ceremony to include her and talk about becoming a family. We DID ask her about it, and she is extremely excited to be involved and is always talking about the wedding. I know that my FI and I's vows are about us, but I am also not just marrying him, but his daughter too, and will have an immediate family. It's really important to the both of us that she be included.
This is my fiance's and my first marraige. We are both dedicated to eachother and to my daughter. My daughter will be 4when we get married and my Fiance has known her since she was 3months old. He and I have known eachother since age 12.My daughter's father is not a part of her life for various reasons. Though member's of his family are. My fiance wants everyone in all three families involved (his, mine, and bio-father's) to know, hear, and see that he intends to give my daughter everything he would give her if she were his by birth. I'm not sure she will be able to understand it all, and as many people point out the wedding cerimony is for the B&G keeping that in mind, making this promise to her, its for him; he feels that making that promise out loud infront of her family and his is as vital a part of us becoming a family as making a promise to me is. I respect and admire that about him.He feels so strongly about this that when he proposed to me and gave me my ring, he gave her ear-rings and asked if she would let him be her dad, again I'm not sure she really understood but it was important to him to ask, and knowing that helps me to really know he really is the one.
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gfam23 Monday, May 14, 2012
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